Change

Haven't been blogging for a while, last time I blogged was 4 months ago. It's been one and a half year's since I started working. These are the changes that I've seen so far:

I've gained a tremendous amount of weight, I've grown my hair longer than ever (though it's legal from HR view, my manager and some colleagues don't like it though).




I've changed from the new dumb kid on the block to being part of the team (although I can't say I'm good at my job yet).




I started off being the new guy who would take up any simple but annoying job possible to the "complaining of all the work" type.







I was never close with anyone in the company and now the team I'm in is like my family outside of home.



I was trained to be an investor back in Uni, but I have no knowledge in investments anymore

I used to want to invest in shares, but I'm into properties and Forex nowadays (though I know not much yet)

I guess that's how life really is about, change, we tend to try our best to fit into life, how to satisfy others, how to satisfy our needs, our basic ones at least. I guess that's when you realize that you aren't who you set out to be, but who you should be, and you'll be surprised, you might just like who you turned out to be.

Life As It Is

Haven't been blogging for quite some while, I've been busy with work, life, friends, colleagues etc etc etc... Just realized that I've been working for IBM for nine months now, and I've finally gotten comfortable in working. During the first few months, it was a struggle, being unfamiliar with what I do plus the barricade between me and my colleagues, it really was terrible. But for the past one or two months, it has been a terrific ride. First, going to Tioman Island with colleagues helped alot, then after that I felt I was growing close to them. Now, I finally feel that I'm part of this team, or in my words, this family.

I've gotten myself a beagle too, as part of my big plan for my life, I'll be having another blog for that in the future, after I finish this quarter's closing. Can you believe it? This is my third quarter closing already. Plus, I'm starting to think of alternative roles to take on after I complete my 2 years in the Sectors team. Well, let's see how it goes I guess...

Goals and Dreams

As I've been exposed to the actual working society for the past 6 months, I've realized a few things in me:
1. I'm a workaholic. Doesn't matter if it's in me or I'm forced to be, It's just that I'd rather spend time doing my work so that at least I do my role as perfect as possible and there are no opportunities for others to doubt me.
2. I kinda have no life. Other than work, I spend most of my time either at home or a shopping mall nearby (either 1U or Ikano). When I get there, I usually just hang out at either Ikea, Pets Safari or Popular. Rarely go to other shops.
3. I want improvements in life. The main reason I'm moving out from my current house, no more housemates, no more sharing bills, no more needing to seek approvals for having my own interests, no more judgments. One house with my princess, simple and nice. We found a single story house nearby, cheap rental, simple house, 3R2B, considered renovated kitchen (I can cook again!), overall perfect house for me and my princess.

I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't go to parties, I don't join clubs, I'm not into voluntary work, I'm not socially active in any way, I don't play games. So basically what I have is my work, my sparkling personality and my interests, which I have not spent any effort on. Which is where I have to a conclusion that I feel much better of: since I have been working my ass of in work, I need to use the money which I have rightfully earned in something that I will enjoy myself in. Some spend on food, some on dancing, I do it for the thing I love the most: pets. I have a rabbit now, but I've always wanted to go back to the pet I've always loved the most, dogs. And now I've set my eyes on a beagle. After I move, I've decided to buy one. It makes me feel comfortable actually, picturing myself sitting in the house while the dog comes on over, trying to convince me to play with it etc...

Then secondly would be to get enough cash to get a guitar, some who know me actually know I have the hidden skills of a pianist (let's face it, I'm a bulky guy, not many can guess). But I'd really like to learn how to play a guitar, It's been something I've hoped to learn for years but just hadn't the time.

In years to come, hope to get my own house, have the garden I've always wanted, maybe even have one of those aquatic aquariums... sigh~~~ dreams eh? Just of course before the dreams come true, it's all about the hardwork first. First labor then the fruit...

Recognition

Little did I realize that I've been working for almost 9 months now, my internship plus my first job. I've been so far lucky that I'm financially stable, my exposure is large due to the different people I support, but what I lack is recognition. It's not that the people don't give me the recognition, it's that I haven't earned them yet. I can't really expect recognition based on the small little things right? That'll be just too harsh, I guess. Just sometimes I don't know how much effort I should put in order to get the recognition I deserve. Sometimes I put effort, but I feel tired, frustrated... My relations with the people I support aren't getting better, sometimes I feel that they're getting worse, sometimes I tend to find that my relationships with my colleagues are not going well (not their fault, sometimes I just don't feel like I'm fitting in...). Well, I can't really bitch much about it, I can't change the world, so I might as well change for it right?

Never back down, Never quit...

Routine Life

My current life is kinda boring sometimes, this has been my weekdays' daily routine for the past few weeks usually:
1. Wake up at 6, either on my laptop and start work or go out for a jog
2. Get prepared for work and leave the house by 8
3. Reach office around 8.30, start work
4. Lunch time between 12.30 to 1.30
5. Continue work from 2pm onwards
6. Finish work around 8pm
7. Reach home, online (usually FB)
8. Sleep around 10.30.

Usually spend most of time during weekends at home, cleaning up the room, watching series...

So, my life's a boring one right? Yeah, I think so too. Don't party out with friends, I know some who do, but I'm just not into that kind of life. I LOVE pets, but can't afford the money or time to have a dog, so I have a rabbit, which doesn't require much of both. I love games, but can't afford the money to really get a kick-ass gaming system. It's not that my job doesn't pay good, it's just that my money are obligated to other stuff (Savings in particular), I gotta save up, gotta build a family soon right? But just that, when you look at it, just feel that my life's kinda boring sometimes.

These are few dreams that I hope to achieve:
1. Get a semi-pro camera (cause I love taking pics, just don't have the equipment)
2. Travel to beautiful natural sites (beaches, forests & mountains) and see other cultural stuff (greek, roman, chinese).
3. Dogs (Always been a dog lover, I even dream to have a dog farm one day).

Not that hard to achieve right? But easier said than done I guess...

Feelings

I grew up with my parents and two brothers, I studied in a Chinese School, where I had the chance to learn 3 major languages, Chinese, English and Malay. I play the piano till grade 8, I watch both Chinese and English movies, I listened mainly to English songs, and I spend a huge amount of time obsessing through Wrestling during my high school period. I became the Head Prefect, Scout Secretary and Club President during high school, but I also skipped class, swore and watched stuff I knew I shouldn't.

Looking back, I always felt that I was the bridge between two different worlds. I'm a pianist with a laborer's body, I'm a head prefect which would skip classes, I'm the English speaking Chinese who could mingle with English and Chinese educated people. Yes, I can mingle with both sides, but sadly I'm best friends with neither. I prefer my own life style. I like the good guy attitude, but I don't like to be "pure", I like the bad guy attitude, but i don't like the activities that come with it: drinking, smoking, going to dance floors, stuff like that. Surprisingly I like pets, I can't get enough of em, first the dogs, then the rabbits, later maybe ferrets, I don't know. I tend to like stuff that show others show no interest to.

Actually I tend to have an odd personality, for example, I put these really odd sentimental feelings in my life up in my Facebook status, and I tend to get embarrassed when my friends talk to me about them. Not to say I'm ashamed, it's just not one would do normally I guess. I don' know, maybe I'm just different than anyone else. I'm 25 and I have a girlfriend whom I've had for 9 years now, and I'm proud of that. But how many 25 year olds really have I have now? I would say it could be because of this relationship, my thinking, my priorities may differ than others. My mind is to be happy, have a successful career and have a great life with my princess. But of course, it comes with hard work, priorities where I can't spend where I could enjoy myself more and less time with friends (cause let's face it, going out with friends tend to empty your wallet abit).

I'm getting the hang of writing a blog, since I don't link my blog to anywhere (no FB, no friendster), I'm guessing not many people I know would really read my blog anyway, so I kinda feel comfortable writing my feelings here. Like I said, this is my palace, where I can really express myself and feel this place really belongs to me :)

Temptation and Opportunity

I've been on hiatus for quite some time now. Been busy with work and trying my best to balance my working life and my personal life. Thank god my princess works in the same company as I do, at least she'll always be there, instead of me always needing to make up for lost time with her. I've been in IBM for 5 months now and the expectations for my performance has gotten more and more. I'm not the new kid in the block, still having the chances to screw up or make mistakes. They expect me to do my best and do the right thing. And most importantly, they expect me to be better. I have nothing to complain, I'm in one of the largest IT corporations in the world, supporting one of the most demanding countries, learning more than most of my peers and more importantly I have the best seniors and teachers, willing to guide me all the way. But my frustrations, has always been towards myself, my weakness, my inefficiency. My manager has always told me that I need to overcome my weakness and change them to be my strength. When would I really be capable of doing that? 5 months already, and I still doubt myself sometimes. Asking questions to confirm with seniors, when actually sometimes I know the answers. Maybe I'm afraid that if I make a mistake, I'll be blamed for not asking. Better safe than sorry right?

As I approach my mid twenties this year, I start to think of better ways to earn more financially. My salary is good enough for not only my expenses but also for savings, but I still need more for the life that I want for me and my princess. And also, we're planning to move out and live together, alone. It's a big step for both us, heading towards the marriage life that we've been dreaming of. I can really start to see, the life with my princess, the house, the car, the pets, the life that I really want. But nothing comes for free, it always starts with hard work I guess.

"Temptation will lean on the doorbell, but opportunity may knock only once." I've started to understand chances don't come as often as you got older, you just need to take every chance you get, and make the most out of it. Kinda sadistic kind of blog I've posted eh?

Happy Chinese New Year, everyone!

Resolutions

No, it's not the New Year's. New Year actually passed more than 2 weeks ago, but I haven't actually had any resolutions so far. So here goes...

1. Be good at my job. This is my official job in my career and I find I kinda like it. Sure, the hours are long but the career opportunity is so good, and I really hope I don't screw it up. Besides, my boss really has expectations for me so I really don't want to let her down. So far, the job and the office has been nothing but good to me, so, being me, I want to live up to the expectation and really be recognized by my peers.

2. Get another pet. Yes, I have a pet rabbit already and I plan to get another pet, hopefully an exotic type so I can learn how to be a breeder. Being a breeder is not just about the money (besides, the money isn't really attractive anyway) but it's more of an interest. Since I don't go out much, I might as well be good at what I really like and start from there.

3. Workout more often. I've not been exercising much since last month, due to the workload and laziness. So I've decided to go for jogs more often. It's not only about looking good, it's more of a health thing. I'm not getting younger you know?

4. Becoming financially stable. I know, I'm having a job with a stable income, what I meant was that I want to make sure I minimize my expenses, save more, so that I can have better options in the futures. Maybe I can invest, maybe I can have a small business, maybe I can go into real estate. I don't know. But what I do know is that money brings in more money. So I've gotta save more for the future.

5. Be more knowledgeable. I need to read more, research more, study more. Not because I'm a nerd, because I wanna know more. I find that I really don't know how to start a conversation, not only with strangers but also to friends. But at least if I know more stuff, I could talk to people. And plus, it's kinda cool if you know everything.

6. Rejoin my musical roots. I was a pianist, around 9 or 10 years ago. After my Grade 8, I never did seriously go back to Piano. Hopefully, I can get a piano within this year, so I could play more and rejoin my musical senses. Plus, my princess likes me playing the piano, hehe.

So that's all I can think of for this year's resolutions. Hopefully I can achieve most of them but you know, Cest' La Vie. Oh yea, hopefully I could learn one more language this year, but that for now still remains a dream I guess :P